Saturday, March 28, 2009

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

The Secret Life of Peter Dinklage

Here's one of the many reasons I love Chrispy - we both harbor a secret crush on actor Peter Dinklage. I first began to dig him during his brief stint on the show Nip/Tuck as Marlowe (who was willing to go through some painful sounding limb-lengthening surgery so that Julia would want to bone him...oh Dinklage, you don't need to become taller to impress me!), then grew to love him even more after I saw the movie The Station Agent. He also had a recent guest appearance on 30 Rock as a potential love interest for Tina Fey, one that ended rather sadly and embarassingly. As most things on 30 Rock tend to do.

But anyhoo, now on to the meat of this post - I present you Chrispy and I's conversation earlier today about Mr. Dinklage.
Me: oh, sweet dinklage
Chrispy: the things I would do to him
Me: unspeakable things
Chrispy: but also fun
Me: oh yes, balloon-play is always
Chrispy: hahaha
Me: i'm trying to think of what weird fetishes peter dinklage might be into
Chrispy: vegetables - both produce and people in comas
Me: let's discuss peter dinklage's erotic proclivities some more
Chrispy: I want a where the wild things are costume
Me: oh my god, yes
Chrispy: max's monster costume
Me: who would wear it?
Chrispy: me
Me: of course
Chrispy: indeed
Me: but then what would peter wear?
Chrispy: the golden crown
Me: oh right, duh

Thursday, March 19, 2009

The Erotic Readings of Bill O'Reilly

I can't tell if this is the most fascinating or horrifying bit of news I've heard today.

I was listening to The Kane Show on Hot 99.5 earlier today. And they mentioned something about how an audiobook of Bill O'Reilly's erotica has surfaced. They broadcasted some of the less explicit clips over the air. I was quite a bit shocked as Bill O'Reilly and erotica are never two things I've paired together in my mind.

When I got home from work, I had to investigate this. A quick Google search turned up this piece from The Village Voice, where you can listen to some clips (I wouldn't recommend doing it at work).

The story on The Kane Show was a bit misleading though, because they made it seem like he had published an erotic novel. It is, in fact, a sort of mystery/suspense/thriller thingamajig with some racy sex scenes called Those Who Trespass. I can't decide if this is better or worse than him actually writing an erotic novel. I mean, I hate O'Reilly, but I do sort of have a morbid curiosity about the whole thing.

But if you're into it, go check it out. And report back. Maybe it'll be the best thing since Universal Gargoyle.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

What Would You Do For Some Free Chicken?

My brother's childhood friend Joe is staying with us this week while he's on spring break from college. I've known Joe since we were very tiny children, so he's like a second brother to me. Only a lot nicer than my real one. Weird.

Joe, my mom, and I were out about town, running errands, when we come upon a curious sight.

They're building a new Chick-Fil-A near my house, which is set for a grand opening tomorrow. This is good news for me, as I love Chick-Fil-A, even if their religious affiliations make me a wee uncomfortable. And now I don't have to drive half an hour to get to the closest one!

However, when we came upon the soon-to-be-opened Chick-Fil-A, we noticed a lot of hubbaloo. Tons of people, loud music, balloons, and...tents?

We spent a minute trying to figure this out. My mom said, "Surely they can't be camping out for the grand opening of a Chick-Fil-A?" Joe and I agreed. I mean, sure it's good chicken, but camping out all night for it? Madness, I tell you!

Upon closer observation, we noticed the plethora of tents, and the bustle of people gathered around the as-to-be-opened fast food joint. There was a person in a cow costume, which led into a conga line and a random dance-off to the Village People's classic "YMCA".

My favorite might have been this old couple standing in the back, dancing along. Well, the old lady in the turquoise sweatsuit is clearly into it. He husband, from behind at least, clearly wants to go back home and get away from all this nonsense!

So what was this all about then? My mom looked it up when we got home, because she was so baffled by the idea of people camping out for fast food. It turns out that this is a thing that Chick-Fil-A has been doing at their grand openings. I don't know if they've been doing this all along, or if the dwindling economy has forced them to do great big publicity stunts like this. I would guess it's the latter. But the deal is thus: The line starts forming 24 hours before the grand opening (and I think Chick-Fil-A tends to open at like 5:30 or 6:00 AM). The first hundred people in get one free meal a week...for a whole year. So all of these people had gathered, pitched tents, and were waiting around for the chance to get free chicken for an entire year. There's an excellent article here about a Chick-Fil-A opening in Bakersfield, California. Apparently there are people who hardcore road trip to these things.

The question I must ask you all is thus - what would you be willing to do for some free chicken? I mean, I'm not really willing to camp out for anything (not even for the pure sake of camping), but I know some might.

Chrispy, I don't suppose Cane's has this rabid fantacism to it, does it? Because that's some delicious, underrated chicken, right there.

Monday, March 2, 2009

Songs For Winter

So, I'm home because there's a big pile of snow on my front porch and in my street. And the closed the off-ramps that I would need to take to get to work. However, they've finally gotten around to plowing my frickin' streets, so now I just feel like a wuss. Oh well. I, like many living around the District, am afraid of the snow.

I spent the morning listening to some podcasts of "A Prairie Home Companion" (Garrison Keillor's voice seems so much more soothing when there's snow outside) and then watching another episode of "The Wire" and then part of Fur: An Imaginary Portrait of Diane Arbus on HBO. If you have a fetish for seeing Robert Downey Jr. covered in hair, which I do of course, then it's a good film to see.

But on to my pertinent topic of the day.

What are some songs that make you think of winter? I mean, besides the obvious ones like "Winter Wonderland" (which mostly makes me think of Christmas). I was thinking about this while listening to Fleet Foxes and noting on how so many of their songs had a wintery theme. For good examples, you can check out the aptly titled "White Winter Hymnal".

Give me your suggestions for songs to put on my winter wonderland mix tape!